you know Buddha I can somewhat feel where you are coming from. Especially with the server taking over your personal life. When i first joined the server back and got into a soc faction I didn't realize that the amount of time and energy I was putting into the server was severely unhealthy. Literally I would be invited to parties, fishing , or mountain biking, all three of these things I love, and I would turn them down to play GG. Yes, this server does deserve your love and SOME of your energy, but when it gets to the point where you cant sleep or you dont go outside and do things that you love, that is when you need to tone it down a little. Just my two cents, but I hope it will help. But also, there comes a point where things are pushed over the top. With the whole hit list things, whether it was a joke or not, that is just something you cannot say these days. People take things in different perspectives, and that is why you have to have a filter that appeals to all or else this kind of stuff happens. Your human, everyone is, and trust me ive made some people angry or said something, or did something, that was perceived as toxic even though I didnt mean to portray it that way (peep the rep). But, you must put that in the past and forgive and forget. Moving forward and starting fresh is one of the healthiest things you can do irl and in-game.