Best (true) story competition

[StraightWhiteChristianMale 563]

Girl tried to cut your dick off? Witnessed a murder? Killed a baby?! I wanna know about it!

Please put your best stories here, winner gets super duper special surprise in-game when I'm back from my paid leave.

[Captainswag 894]

For its 1 year anniversary being tomorrow, I shall spin you all a tale!!!

So, Swag and his brother were out at night. They were just talking casually! But Swag had a great idea! Instead of walking around a corner, he would climb up a wall! It was a marvelous idea, one of his personal best you see!

But then, upon climbing the wall, he made a horrible decision. To stand straight up! Unbeknownst to him, there was a tree branch above his head!

He hit it...

And he couldn't move his neck...

So he had to be taken to the hospital...

And then he slightly began to lose his mind over the next couple of months...

And that is the story of how I blasted my head on a tree branch, got a concussion, then proceeded to get memory loss! It's crazy thinking its only been one year though!