Hey Knuckles,
If you are serious about becoming staff, I'd suggest rewriting the whole thing from scratch. First and foremost, please read the application rules as well as the format, that way you can avoid the "-1 you didn't read the rules" comment.
Equally important, put time in the "Why should we choose you over other applicants" part of your application. This is beyond any doubt the most important part where you get to show off your particular set of skills, as well as your strengths related to staffing. Impress us, sell yourself to us.
Finally, in the " If you have any, what hobbies or activities are you involved in outside of Garry's Mod?" section, talk about yourself! We'd like to know more about you and what you do outside of Garry's mod. We want to know a little bit more about the person behind the screen.
I hope this helps you out and I wish you good luck!